A bold escape from the control of parental expectations.

Wurzburger, Andrea. “’Gilmore Girls’ Cast: Where Are They Now?” People.com, 20 January 2023, https://people.com/tv/gilmore-girls-where-are-they-now/. Accessed 13 November 2024.

By: Charlotte Leung

Hot chocolate topped with fluffy marshmallows, a haze of orange-yellow leaves, and neighbours who know you by name are three things that summarize the magical show of Gilmore Girls. Situated in the nostalgic, storybook town of Stars Hollow, the popular show resonated with many fans as they went through the season of change and new challenges – fall. We get to see the intricate and sometimes entangled dynamics of characters, as well as a variety of complex situations that arise for the iconic mother-daughter duo, Rory and Lorelai Gilmore, alongside their many friends. Throughout the show, the relationships between characters only become more and more complex, from the heated Friday-night dinners to the brawls between Rory and her academic rival, Paris Geller, the Gilmore house never sleeps. However, as I come to my third re-watch of Gilmore Girls, I found more significant meaning behind these relationships: rather than just a typical “teenager-relatable” topic, what I see is Lorelai’s significant breakthrough with intergenerational trauma. 

In the show,  we learn that Lorelai escaped the Gilmore estate at the ripe age of 16, shortly after giving birth to Rory. Bearing in mind that the Gilmore household is an incredibly wealthy family, her decision was unquestionably desperate and rash. She went on to work as a maid at the Independence Inn, a stark contrast to the lavish, resplendent life she had beforehand. Despite a seemingly significant downgrade to her life, Lorelai stays in Stars Hollow. Her commitment to Stars Hollow isn’t just about fleeing from the Gilmore estate, but finding a corner where she can reclaim her independence, far from the constant expectations of her parents. This choice underscores Lorelai’s need to paint an environment for Rory that is starkly different from her upbringing, filled with warmth, openness, and togetherness. Her choice to remain in Stars Hollow, where the community is interconnected immensely, showcases Lorelai’s need to distance herself from the manipulative and coldness that nurtured her childhood.

In addition, her attempt to give Rory a better environment intensifies her relationship. Lorelai influences Rory’s mindset, teaching her  that her grandparents are manipulative individuals who try to take control of everything. During an episode when she and Rory get into a heated argument about romantic relationships, she gets extremely upset when she finds out she has escaped to her grandparents’ house. She even expressed that she drove halfway there as she contemplated picking Rory up. But in contrast to her parents’ attitude, she treats Rory like a friend, rather than the villain she was seen as  throughout her childhood. Parenting-wise, she barely has any rules or controls for Rory, only pulling out her signature “mom card” when Rory gets out of line, which rarely happens. Knowing Rory’s big aspirations for school, she constantly encourages her and helps her be the best student she possibly can be; she also sticks up for her in the scary halls of Chilton, talking to Headmaster Charleston when unjust punishments are inflicted upon Rory. 

In closing, Lorelai Gilmore manages to “stylishly” break the expectations and intergenerational trauma that has been inflicted on her since her childhood. Through breaking this pattern, she manages to provide a more united, and close relationship with her beloved daughter, Rory. 

Work CitedGilmore Girls. Created by Amy Sherman-Palladino, Warner Bros. Television, 2000–2007.